Nigerian parents are a rare breed. They are vicious combination of cunning foxes, raging lions, clever tortoises and annoying houseflies. I just hope my mother doesn’t see this. I’ll wash the toilet for one month J
They will annoy you, break your heart, make you burn. Then they will tell you not to shout—if you shout you lack respect. LOL. If you start muttering to yourself then you’re insulting them.
The hardest part is when they decide to scatter your plans after so much effort. Smh.
I call this the Nigerian Parents Syndrome.
PS: Visit This Guy’s Corner today!!!
WHAT ACTUALLY IS NIGERIAN PARENTS SYNDROME
Nigerian Parents Syndrome is the annoying, hating, non-degenerative behavioural condition exhibited by most parents in Nigeria especially those born within the second to last quarters of the 20th century.
SYMPTOMS OF NIGERIAN PARENTS SYNDROME
If one or both or three (for those it applies to) express or exhibit any of the symptoms that will be listed below, do well to conduct a medical expert before it escalates.
- They agree to your plans only to destroy them on the D-day (I experienced it yesterday, and it’s still paining me).
- When you say “Mummy I want to visit Emeka.” Then she replies, “…everytime you are visiting. Has he come to your own house before? Oya go and wash plate since you’re jobless.
- When they are talking and you reply. They will be like “Ohh, so you can now talk ehh?” at this juncture you may receive a clean or dirty slap, depending the angle of contact with your face.
- When you are a guy and you say “Mummy I want to go and see Jennifer—” she will raise her hands “wonders shall never cease to end. You are now seeing girls ehhh!” *slap lands
- “So you think you are big now ehh? Let me catch you.”
- .. “so you think you are big ehh? Come inside first.”
- When the slap is landing then you block it. Your Nigerian mom will be like “ehh? So you are fighting me now baa? Oya you must kill me today.” Then extra drama follows.
- You hear your name from the backyard when you are talking with that beautiful girl from across the street. You run to answer only to hear, “noo. I’m not calling you for anything. I just wanted to know if you were around.” Fada laud take my soul.
- When you leave the house with your girlfriend only to jam your parents in Shoprite. They will be like, “bia, so this is what you do with our money? Infact come home first.”
- Then when you get the neighbour’s daughter pregnant. Your mom will be like, “Chai! You have made a disgrace of yourself and your family. You are a failure,” turns to the girl. “And you stupidly opened your legs for him.” this normally comes with a slap. Lol.
So what other #Nigerian_Parents_Syndrome symptoms do you know about? Be sure to leave them in the comments below.
Keep up with the blog for more on the #Nigerian_Parents_Syndrome series.
And please, make sure my parents don’t see this.