Hi, so technically I had dated some or more than average girls but I had never taken any of them on a real, planned date. The type I watch in Hollywood movies where they sit over champagne, candles with classic looking waiters asking in French accents what their preferences would be.

So, when I got admission into the university in December, 2016 I has already sworn that I’d have a real date.

When the time came for my first date, I was ready in the aspect of my mind, but what of other, VITAL aspects? I expect you guys to understand *wink.

Her name was Jessica (I can’t remember if I made up this name or if it’s the real name so don’t chose for me), she was (and is) my course mate and a good friend though we were not dating in any way. That day after lectures as I accompanied her to her hostel I asked, “do you mind if we could go out this night. Chitis.”

Chitis was a popular restaurant on campus and where the big boys usually came to blow their money. I heard that Sammiecolt (a campus artiste and big boy) blew N200K there during a party but I dunno if it’s true.

Jessica smiled. Did I mention that she was my height, fair, shapey and the dream girl of almost all guys in our department and faculty. So being one of the guys she talked and rolled with was good, actually dating her was something else. Then, I was actually considering dating her, she was sweet. Oh Lord of Light, I even forgot to mention her accent though I wasn’t sure if it was feigned or not. But she wore it well.

So Jessica smiled, “no problem. We’ll meet at Chitis. Seven pm.” And she smiled more.

I was also stupidly smiling while she kept up her gist. I didn’t think till yesterday of how I messed up my first date.

Note: GIST (verb: gisting) is an entertaining story of real-life events your friend, paddy, or even enemy tells you. 80% of it is usually gossips *wink.


By six pm I was already dressed in my best vertical stripped shirt (to make me look taller); slimmed black, chinos trousers and a matching jacket. I was hailed by the boys in my hostel as I left. I was half-way to Chitis when I realised that I had forgotten my debit card.

I quickly ran back to my hostel, as you would guess I was already sweating and panting. I quickly used ordinary water to clean my face then apply powder again. I casually walked by to Chitis. Just minutes before Jessica arrived, I found out that the campus’ number one spot didn’t have POS services *smh.

I quickly ran to the First Bank ATM machine nearby but it was out of cash. The story was the same with the Access Bank ATM. Both were empty, it was the Christmas season and people needed money. I had to go cross-school to the UBA ATM but that one was more than out-of-cash.

The story was worse with the Fidelity bank ATMs, I don’t even want to remember what was wrong with that one. Already, I was fuming. I was queued up for one last working ATM, already getting relieved slowly. But the cash gave out just two people to me *why me!!!

While I was still at Fidelity Bank ATM, Jessica called me. I told her I was nearby (Nigerian theory of space-time). Basically, in my country, if you could reach your destination in 30-45 minutes you were nearby *sigh.

I started trekking back, already thinking of how the witches in my village were laughing at my calamity.


When I was almost at Chitis, Jessica called and told me to plan well next time before asking her or someone else on a date. She left with a friend and her boyfriend. I didn’t know. I was still at Chitis waiting for her. I called her mobile but it wasn’t connecting.

Soon, the pictures appeared on Facebook and I simply packed myself (in shame, agony, pain and disappointment) and left Chitis.

I couldn’t talk to her on Monday, though she later apologized for leaving. Me, I was too dazed to reply. My first date (supposed first date) was a ruin, thanks to both sides (I think). The blame could be shared in a 70:30 ratio between us.


I’m now afraid of dates, I think I have a girlfriend now but still we haven’t had those cosy dinners rich boys and others talk about. Maybe one day, but not this year. I am now dateophobic.

And so that’s how i messed up my first date.

Let me know what you think in the comments below. If you would like to submit your experiences and lifestyle articles for free just email me (lucem@toolbazed.com.ng) with the article attached as a PDF, Ms Word document, Notepad or any plain text format. Don’t forget to include your name and URL (if you have any).

Miracle Chinonso

I'm a Medical student from Nigeria. You'd be wondering what a medical student is doing on a blog like this? Well, read on and find out. You can contact me through the comments section of each post. *Wink*


  • This your story is something else. We girls do like it when guys keep to plans and not when they are arranged. But, it didn’t justify her leaving you and going out with someone else. Totally not cool.

  • Nice story. Maybe next time u shud budget ahead of time……I don’t really see a reason y d lady will bail out…as if she was making plans on your own plans. I give it a 80:20 ratio

  • This your story is very funny but congrats you just got an experience

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